The dreams that I can remember are more often than not ones I spent with the you I made up inside my head.

They say that people usually remember dreams that had been disrupted, when they wake up when they are in the dreaming state. As the case with you. I am forever disrupted by expectations. Conformity. Self built social restrictions.

When I wake up from these dreams, all I feel is a sense of loss, the kind of loss I should never have to experience. I’ve never had you, anyway. It is the sort of loss that makes me want to scream, the kind where you burst out crying because of pure dissatisfaction and angst.

I desire these dreams each and every night, still. Because I get to spend them with you. In your embrace, somebody significant. Somebody to love.