Things that are not Love

  1. If one is unable to accept fully another, and demands for change as an ultimatum.
  2. Lust. Being nice because of the potential of sex, but treating one like trash after the act, or being self-serving in the bedroom.
  3. Obsession. Putting someone up on a pedestal, and conceding to their every need and want, or sacrificing one’s own needs and wants repeatedly to result in a loss of self and confusion.
  4. Ticking all the boxes of one’s list for a potential partner, but not feeling any attraction towards them.
  5. Convenience – communicated with in times of need or want, but not kept up with in other times, including during the times of need or want of the other person.
  6.  Being able to purposefully and continually hurt or damage someone with their words or actions, even if that is done in the ‘heat of the moment’.
  7. When one forces the other to do things that the other has explicitly indicated extreme discomfort, notwithstanding demands of sex, coercing the other to purchase or do things one wants but the other does not, etc, without any sort of compromise.

This is how it feels like

This is how it feels like to break up when you still clearly love each other.

These breakups occur because either one or both of you are going off to someplace far away. Or because a long-distance relationship became too hard to handle. Perhaps it occurred because it was a toxic relationship, for either one or both of you. In any case, you break up while you still love each other.

The worst part happens when you are still in contact, or when you find your way back to each other. The little things that he/she does which made you fall in love with him/her chips at you from time to time. You know that you and him/her are long over. And the fact is, still, in the tiny moments of silence when no one says anything at all, you still look at each other with gazes all too familiar.

And this is how it feels to break up when both of you are still in love with each other.

The clear strength and resolve comes from the fact that you don’t actually get back together again. To look into his/her eyes, still halfway from falling out of love, knowing that this isn’t what I want anymore. This is not good for me.

And this is how it shall be. This is how it feels like to break up when the both of you still clearly love each other.

This is how it feels like.

From Sad Songs by Lang Leav

“Once there was a boy who couldn’t speak but owned a music box that held every song in all the world. One day he met a girl who had never heard a single melody in her entire life and so he played her his favorite song. He watched while her face lit up with wonder as the music filled the sky and the poetry of lyrics moved her in a way she had never felt before.
He would play his songs for her day after day and she would sit by him quietly—never seeming to mind that he could only speak to her through song. She loved everything he played for her, but of them all—she loved the sad songs best. So he began to play them more and more until eventually, sad songs were all she would hear.
One day, he noticed it had been a very long time since her last smile. When he asked her why, she took both his hands in hers and kissed them warmly. She thanked him for his gift of music and poetry but above all else—for showing her sadness because she had known neither of these things before him. But it was now time for her to go away—to find someone who could show her what happiness was.

. . . . . .

Do you remember the song that was playing the night we met?
No, but I remember every song I have heard since you left.”

-Lang Leav

Some Memorable Notes

Taken from ThoughtCatalog

  1. If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.
  2. Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.
  3. If she threatens to leave, help her pack her bags.
  4. Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.
  5. If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.
  6. Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.
  7. Don’t disparage your SO behind their back.
  8. Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.
  9. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
  10. Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.